Seven planets begin building protective shields to keep out Earth migrants

Seven planets have begun the arduous task of building planetary protective shields in an effort to keep out migrants from Earth, after NASA announced their discovery yesterday.

While the discovery was cause for excitement here on Earth, on those planets it has been greeted with dread and terror.

‘Earthlings are a bunch of drug-crazed rapists, we can’t have them soiling our beautiful planets. We need biodomes around every single planet and they must be protected by adamantium (which is real here). No-one from Earth gets in,’ said Zavoxx-5, one of the more liberal aliens.

Some aliens have even blasted their governments for not being more prepared.

‘We knew that we’d get spotted eventually. We should have begun the work a long time ago. The last thing we need are a bunch of filthy Earthlings sneaking across our borders because they’ve ruined their own planet,’ said Viwold-322.

Each planet has blasted out a greeting in universal morse code in the hope that Earth receives the message before attempting to make contact.

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BY: DAVID MARRS

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